My Design Blog

Hey guys!

If you aren't already following my design blog, I really think you should. Just check it out. I update it a lot more then I update this blog. And this way you can kind of get a taste of what it is I do every day. I love it! It's my passion. So check it out.

Curtis Design

Thanks.

I can. I will. I am.

Most of my entries in this blog are pretty pointless. Very few times do I say anything deep or of value. Tonight, I went back and read my original post from over a year ago. I realized while reading that post, that I really wish I would do more entries with feeling like that. Not that I want to go EMO on everyone. I just enjoy writing my emotions from time to time. And I don't do it enough. It's a nice release.

With that said, I will try to make this post tonight a little more deep. However, I do not make any promises. I just type what comes to my head. Sometimes that leads into pointless conversations with myself.

I am a dreamer. Any of my friends or family members will tell you that. I am a sucker for a good inspirational story. To me, fairy-tales are reality. My honest belief is that ANYTHING is possible. I mean that with all of my heart. Most people don't believe that. The lack of belief is the reason the impossible doesn't get accomplished.

I have lived an ordinary life. I haven't changed the world. This used to depress me because I have countless dreams and aspirations for my life. I want to make a difference in the world. I really do. I have realized though that I am only 24. And while I feel old, I have a lot of life ahead of me. There is no set map for people of great influence to follow. During the past several months, I have been enjoying reading books about influential and inspiring people. People that make a difference in their community and the world. I have noticed a few common trends among each of these stories. That trend is that each person's life was different. Each had different challenges and struggles to overcome. There is no set timeline for creating real change. I am not a failure just because I am 24 and haven't accomplished all my goals. Many people have done far more for the world by the time they were my age then I have. That in no way means I will not still change the world.

In all the books and stories I have read this year, the "heros" each had dreams. And through any trial, they NEVER gave up that dream. I believe any person has the ability and chance to change the world. The problem is that we give up on our dreams way too easily. We settle for mediocrity and leave our dreams in our childhood. The ones who make a difference are the ones who fight through life without ever settling.

I have chosen to be one of these people.

Some may think my attitude is arrogant. How dare I say that I will change the world! All I can say is that I will change to world because I dare to.

I expect many trials on the way to making my dreams come true. Things will not be handed to me on a silver platter. Life doesn't work that way. Much of my life may be a struggle. I may never see the fruits of my labors in my lifetime. This will not stop me.

I once wrote a list of things I will accomplish before I die. While I wont share that list with you now, I will tell you that when I wrote that list I didn't believe all of those items would come true. I was in my early teens and just needed something to hope for at that point in my life. I look at that list now and already things I thought impossible have happened. It's miraculous to me. I can honestly say I have become the person I dreamed of being when I was younger. But it's not over yet.

My list is not all crossed off quite yet. And as I grow, so does the list. I have a lot of dreams to make come true. I have a lot of things to leave for this world.

I can.

I will.

I am.

- Curtis

My Top 250 Songs of the 00's!

Anyone who knows me well knows that I am obsessed with music. I own over 350 physical (legal) CD's. My iTunes library consists of about 5500 legally paid for songs. I bought my first album in December of 1999. So the majority of my music obsession has taken place during the 2000 decade. I have compiled a list of MY top 250 songs of the last decade. I started creating this list in September. It has taken a lot of time to get it just right. I individually filtered through each of the over 4,000 songs I own from the decade. Somehow I managed to cut it down to 250 songs. Each song was given a rank based on a number of factors including radio play, nostalgia, personal play counts, and of course my personal opinion. So here it is. Enjoy!

250. Waiting On The World To Change. John Mayer

249. What Would You Do. City High

248. Shake It Off. Mariah Carey

247. Try Again. Aaliyah

246. Can't Get You Out Of My Head. Kylie Minogue

245. One More Time. Daft Punk

244. Paralyzer. Finger Eleven

243. Hollywood's Not America. Ferras

242. Stutter. Joe

241. Happy. Natasha Bedingfield

240. Don't Let Me Get Me. Pink

239. 1985. Bowling for Soup

238. I Will Follow You Into The Dark. Death Cab For Cutie

237. Burnin' Up. Jonas Brothers

236. Crazy In Love. Beyoncé Feat. Jay-Z

235. Come Back To Me. David Cook

234. Come On Over Baby (All I Want Is You). Christina Aguilera

233. Thong Song. Sisqo

232. These Words (I Love You, I Love You). Natasha Bedingfield

231. Burn. Usher

230. Dance With Me. Debelah Morgan

229. All The Small Things. Blink 182

228. Can't Hold Us Down. Christina Aguilera Feat. Lil' Kim

227. Baby I'm Back. Baby Bash

226. Beverly Hills. Weezer

225. Already Gone. Kelly Clarkson

224. Butterfly. Crazy Town

223. Faded. SoulDecision

222. Bootylicious. Destiny's Child

221. Party Like a Rock Star. Shop Boyz

220. S.O.S. Rihanna

219 True. Ryan Cabrera

218. If You're Not The One. Daniel Bedingfield

217. Here Without You. 3 Doors Down

216. Love Don't Cost A Thing. Jennifer Lopez

215. Behind These Hazel Eyes. Kelly Clarkson

214. When It's Over. Sugar Ray

213. Lucky. Britney Spears

212. Ordinary Day. Vanessa Carlton

211. Soldier. Destiny's Child Feat. T.I. & Lil' Wayne

210. Like I Love You. Justin Timberlake

209. Heaven. Los Lonely Boys

208. Halo. Beyoncé

207. You're a God. Vertical Horizon

206. If You're Gone. Matchbox Twenty

205. Right Round. Flo Rida

204. The Time of My Life. David Cook

203. Leave (Get Out). JoJo

202. Unfaithful. Rihanna

201. Don't Trust Me. 3OH!3

200. Stay With You. Goo Goo Dolls

199. Blame It (feat. T-Pain). Jamie Foxx

198. Courage Is... The Strange Familiar

197. Shout to the Lord. American Idol Season 7 Finalists

196. Into The Ocean. Blue October

195. Life Is a Highway. Rascal Flatts

194. The Lucky One. Faith Hill

193. Live Your Life. T.I. Feat. Rihanna

192. Can't Fight The Moonlight. LeAnn Rimes

191. He Loves You Not. dream

190. Light The Fire Within. LeAnn Rimes

189. Soul Meets Body. Death Cab For Cutie

188. You And Me. Lifehouse

187. Gives You Hell. The All-American Rejects

186. Knock You Down. Keri Hilson, Kanye West & Ne-Yo

185. Harder To Breathe. Maroon 5

184. Swear It Again. Westlife

183. Big Yellow Taxi. Counting Crows

182. Blowin' Me Up (With Her Love). JC Chasez

181. I Try. Macy Gray

180. Time Won't Let Me Go. The Bravery

179. Heaven (Yanou's Candlelight Mix). DJ Sammy & Yanou

178. Who Knew. Pink

177. Lonely No More. Rob Thomas

176. Meant To Live. Switchfoot

175. Where Are You Going. Dave Matthews

174. Your Body Is A Wonderland. John Mayer

173. Give It To Me (Featuring Justin Timbelake & Nelly Furtado). Timbaland

172. Mercy. Duffy

171. Poker Face. Lady GaGa

170. Collide. Howie Day

169. Thank You. Dido

168. Love Story. Taylor Swift

167. I Wanna Know. Joe

166. Lifestyles Of The Rich And Famous. Good Charlotte

165. Gotta Tell You. Samantha Mumba

164. Starry Eyed Surprise (ft. Shifty Shellshock). Paul Oakenfold

163. Hear You Me. Jimmy Eat World

162. Until Yesterday. JC Chasez

161. All For You. Janet Jackson

160. Party In The U.S.A. Miley Cyrus

159. Beautiful Soul. Jesse McCartney

158. Never Had a Dream Come True. S Club 7

157. What A Girl Wants. Christina Aguilera

156. Break Anotha. Blake Lewis

155. Celebrate You. Corbin Bleu

154. Dilemma. Nelly Feat. Kelly Rowland

153. Battlefield. Jordin Sparks

152. When You Look Me In the Eyes. Jonas Brothers

151. Let's Dance to Joy Division. The Wombats

150. Never Again. Kelly Clarkson

149. Heartless. Kanye West

148. Hanging By A Moment. Lifehouse

147. American Boy (feat. Kanye West). Estelle

146. Get The Party Started. Pink

145. Circus. Britney Spears

144. Bring It All To Me. Blaque & *NSYNC

143. Ocean Avenue. Yellowcard

142. Dead And Gone. T.I. Feat. Justin Timberlake

141. Over You. Daughtry

140. Don't Forget To Remember Me. Carrie Underwood

139. I Don't Want To Be. Gavin DeGraw

138. Pieces Of Me. Ashlee Simpson

137. Independent Women, Pt. 1. Destiny's Child

136. Shut Up And Drive. Rihanna

135. Everytime. Britney Spears

134. Obsession (No Es Amor). Frankie J Feat. Baby Bash

133. Boom Boom Pow. Black Eyed Peas

132. Red High Heels. Kellie Pickler

131. Gotta Get Thru This. Daniel Bedingfield

130. The Middle. Jimmy Eat World

129. A Thousand Miles. Vanessa Carlton

128. Shape Of My Heart. Backstreet Boys

127. Crazy For This Girl. Evan & Jaron

126. Miss Independent. Kelly Clarkson

125. Unwell. Matchbox Twenty

124. Gimme More. Britney Spears

123. Just A Dream. Carrie Underwood

122. Dance, Dance. Fall Out Boy

121. Human. The Killers

120. Proud. Heather Small

119. Gone. *NSYNC

118. Womanizer. Britney Spears

117. Won't Go Home Without You. Maroon 5

116. Thnks Fr Th Mmrs. Fall Out Boy

115. Rockstar. Nickelback

114. Promiscuous. Nelly Furtado Feat. Timbaland

113. Here (In Your Arms). Hellogoodbye

112. Back At One. Brian McKnight

111. Makes Me Wonder. Maroon 5

110. Buttons. Pussycat Dolls Feat. Snoop Dogg

109. Amazed. Lonestar

108. Big Girls Don't Cry (Personal). Fergie

107. Girlfriend. Avril Lavigne

106. All Or Nothing. O-Town

105. Way I Are (Featuring Keri Hilson & D.O.E.). Timbaland

104. Anyway. Martina McBride

103. Rock Your Body. Justin Timberlake

102. Pocketful of Sunshine. Natasha Bedingfield

101. What's Going On? Artists against AIDS Worldwide

100. The Climb. Miley Cyrus

99. This Ain't A Scene, It's An Arms Race. Fall Out Boy

98. No Air. Jordin Sparks & Chris Brown

97. Calling All Angels. Train

96. You Found Me. The Fray

95. Jumpin', Jumpin'. Destiny's Child

94. Here's To The Night. Eve 6

93. On The Way. Down Ryan Cabrera

92. Back Here. BBMak

91. All Summer Long. Kid Rock

90. Hurt. Christina Aguilera

89. Stronger. Kanye West

88. Leavin'. Jesse McCartney

87. A New Day Has Come. Celine Dion

86. Survivor. Destiny's Child

85. Angel. Shaggy

84. Blue (Da Ba Dee). Eiffel 65

83. Mr. Brightside. The Killers

82. Take a Bow. Rihanna

81. When I Grow Up. The Pussycat Dolls

80. Last Name. Carrie Underwood

79. The Remedy (I Won't Worry). Jason Mraz

78. LoveStoned. Justin Timberlake

77. Graduation (Friends Forever). Vitamin C

76. I Kissed a Girl. Katy Perry

75. See You Again. Miley Cyrus

74. 4 Minutes (feat. Justin Timberlake & Timbaland). Madonna

73. Smooth. Carlos Santana

72. Because Of You. Kelly Clarkson

71. Fallin'. Alicia Keys

70. Unwritten. Natasha Bedingfield

69. The Reason. Hoobastank

68. Irreplaceable. Beyoncé

67. Low (feat. T-Pain). Flo Rida

66. Just Dance. Lady GaGa & Colby O'Donis

65. Let's Get It Started. Black Eyed Peas

64. What Time Is It. High School Musical 2 Cast

63. Wait For You. Elliott Yamin

62. U + Ur Hand. Pink

61. Viva la Vida. Coldplay

60. Summer Love. Justin Timberlake

59. Dirrty. Christina Aguilera Feat. Redman

58. No One. Alicia Keys

57. Over My Head (Cable Car). The Fray

56. I'm Yours. Jason Mraz

55. Don't Cha (feat. Busta Rhymes). Pussycat Dolls

54. We Belong Together. Mariah Carey

53. Jesus, Take The Wheel. Carrie Underwood

52. Hot In Herre. Nelly

51. This Love. Maroon 5

50. Hey Ya. Outkast

49. Best Days. Graham Colton

48. Toxic. Britney Spears

47. Disturbia. Rihanna

46. She Will Be Loved. Maroon 5

45. Say My Name. Destiny's Child

44. What Goes Around.../...Comes Around. Justin Timberlake

43. With You. Chris Brown

42. Drops Of Jupiter. Train

41. No Such Thing. John Mayer

40. Breakaway. Kelly Clarkson

39. This I Promise You. *NSYNC

38. The Sweet Escape (Featuring Akon). Gwen Stefani

37. Flying. James Newton Howard

36. So What. Pink

35. We're All In This Together. High School Musical Cast

34. Hero. Enrique Iglesias

33. Forever. Chris Brown

32. My Life Would Suck Without You. Kelly Clarkson

31. Umbrella. Rihanna Feat. Jay-Z

30. Hollaback Girl. Gwen Stefani

29. Lady Marmalade. Christina Aguilera, Lil Kim, Pink, Mya, & Missy Elliot

28. Before He Cheats. Carrie Underwood

27. Everything You Want. Vertical Horizon

26. Home. Daughtry

25. Breathe. Faith Hill

24. That's The Way It Is. Celine Dion

23. Remember When. LeAnn Rimes

22. A Moment Like This. Kelly Clarkson

21. Don't Stop The Music. Rihanna

20. Cry Me A River. Justin Timberlake

19. Girlfriend. *NSYNC & Nelly

18. Beautifu.l Christina Aguilera

17. I Knew I Loved You. Savage Garden

16. You Ruined Me. JC Chasez

15. It's Not Over. Daughtry

14. Apologize (Featuring One Republic). Timbaland

13. It's Gonna Be Me. *NSYNC

12. Boulevard Of Broken Dreams Green Day

11. Single Ladies (Put A Ring On It). Beyoncé

10. Yeah! Usher Feat. Lil' Jon & Ludacris

9. Oops!...I Did It Again. Britney Spears

8. Wishes. Peabo Bryson & Kimberley Locke with Jim Brickman

7. Pop. *NSYNC

6. I Gotta Feeling. Black Eyed Peas

5. Bad Day. Daniel Powter

4. Bleeding Love. Leona Lewis

3. Where Is The Love? Black Eyed Peas & Justin Timberlake

2. Since U Been Gone. Kelly Clarkson

1. Bye Bye Bye. *NSYNC

the losers.

I am currently sitting in my Computers and Art class. I am one of the teachers and am bored out of my mind. Today is a lab day, so my students just work on their assignments in the computer lab and I walk around and help them when they need it. In other words, I refresh my facebook page so many times it makes my fingers hurt. This leaves me valuable time to write in my ever-so-precious blog.

This morning I caught up on last night's Glee via Hulu. I never cease to be impressed by this show. It can be so outrageous and cheesy. So repetitive and karaoke. Yet, I can't get enough! I LOVE it. And I am not ashamed to admit this super cheesy comedy TV show has brought a tear to my eye FOUR times now. This new episode was about people with special needs or disabilities. To watch Sue go visit her sister with special needs and read to her just really got me. And then AGAIN when Kurt talks to his dad about the gay issue, I lost it.

Why does this silly show do this to me? Maybe because this show is sorta all about the losers. The people who aren't accepted by their peers. I relate to these people on SO many levels. My high school days were spent more or less all by myself. I didn't have friends. I was an outcast. Obviously, things are different now, but every time I look back, I can't help but feel a part of the hurt I used to feel each and every single day. I used to cry myself to sleep nearly every single night. This is not an exaggeration. I was so alone.

I don't blame anyone. I used to blame everyone else. Then I blamed myself for a long time. But I have realized blaming is useless. It doesn't matter why it happened, but it happened. I owe a large part of who I am today to those lonely years. As horrible as they were at the time, I learned some valuable lessons and built a valuable aspect of my character. The entire situation made me more aware of people. I can't help but feel hurt when I see someone alone. I see people getting picked on and it hurts me on a personal level. I can put myself in that situation because I spent my ENTIRE childhood in those situations. Being alone all those years made me a much more understanding and compassionate person.

With that said, it kills me to watch it happen to others. There must be a better way to learn compassion then by being secluded, made fun of, picked on, and drowning in tears each night. I can't stand to watch people going through what I went through. No one deserves that. Everyone needs a friend. Everyone.

Happy Birthday Sesame Street

Sesame Street turned 40 years old today. So to celebrate, I collected some videos to remind us all of our younger days.







And my favorite: "This is kinda kinky, Earnie"

A Christmas Carol! Too soon?

This past weekend I went home to American Fork (for less then a day), but was able to see some of my family. Me, my parents, and Russell and Amber all went to see Disney's A Christmas Carol. It was actually an extremely well done movie. I recommend it. However, I am not quite sure if I am ready for the Christmas season yet. I loved the movie, but didn't really feel the Christmas spirit. Give me a few weeks. This is odd coming from the guy who used to start blasting his Christmas albums in early October! I don't know what's happened to me. I guess I am getting old. I blame everything on getting old now.

The rest of my weekend was awesome too. I had orientation at Best Buy on Friday. Looking forward to having a paying job again. I thought about it and I haven't received a paycheck since June. Since then, all of my jobs have been for free. It's no wonder I am out of money. Hopefully it all pays off in the long run.

Not much else new to report. I have noticed a lot of my friends in the last week have been having relationship problems. It must be the newest illness going around. Forget swine flu, the anti-love bug is in town. While I have no relationship to be crushed in the first place, it's been hard to watch good people split. It's sad.

But that's it for now. We are getting close to the end of the semester. I can't wait! One step closer to the end.

Over 6 hours in the UR Lab. . . losing my mind.

I haven't been very good at keeping up with this blog thing. I am working on an animation project on campus, and after 6 hours of sitting in front of this computer, I think it's tie to take a break. But first, I will update you all on my life really quickly.

I have been loving this semester of school. I have had so much more free time this year. I needed this relaxing semester after last year. I didn't sleep much at all last year, as many of you may remember. Working 2 jobs and 18 credits at school nearly killed me.

This year has been a huge contrast to that. I have cut back to just 12 credits and cut my jobs back to just one (Disney Campus Rep President). Sure, I am living on loan money, but it's been worth it. I normally wouldn't say that, but if I would have gone through another semester like last year, I don't think I would have physically been able to handle it.

So what am I doing? I have been working on my portfolio. I have been doing the Disney recruiting completely stress free this time. But, most importantly, I am having fun. I love my roommates this year. I am living in a house now. The 5 guys I live with are awesome. We have a ton of fun in our house. I honestly love it. It's possibly the best group of roommates I have ever had. And that's saying a lot, because I have had a couple pretty good groups.

My addiction to eating out (thanks Traverse City, MI) has forced me to get a job for the holidays. My loan money is almost gone. Whoops. So I start my job at Best Buy tomorrow. It's just seasonal for now and I don't think it will be bad at all. I look forward to a little spending money and hopefully some new friendships.

I just won a be with two of my roommates last night. We had almost gone 2 weeks without shaving. The first person to shave had to buy the others an item from the dollar menu at McDonalds. I totally won! And it felt sooooo good this morning to finally shave the scruff off. It was getting a little out of control.

It's getting cold. The last few days, the temperature has been up in the 4o's and it has felt like summer to me. That's how cold it has been! When the 40's feel warm, you have a problem. This will be my last winter in Logan though. I am thinking I might try snowboarding this year. I have never tried skiing or snowboarding and I might regret that in the future.

Speaking of cold, I am going to have to walk home in it now. Guess I better leave soon.

It was fun to update you all on my eventful life. I probably missed a lot because I am just rambling, but deal with it.

Until next time,

Adios.

Curtis