the losers.

I am currently sitting in my Computers and Art class. I am one of the teachers and am bored out of my mind. Today is a lab day, so my students just work on their assignments in the computer lab and I walk around and help them when they need it. In other words, I refresh my facebook page so many times it makes my fingers hurt. This leaves me valuable time to write in my ever-so-precious blog.

This morning I caught up on last night's Glee via Hulu. I never cease to be impressed by this show. It can be so outrageous and cheesy. So repetitive and karaoke. Yet, I can't get enough! I LOVE it. And I am not ashamed to admit this super cheesy comedy TV show has brought a tear to my eye FOUR times now. This new episode was about people with special needs or disabilities. To watch Sue go visit her sister with special needs and read to her just really got me. And then AGAIN when Kurt talks to his dad about the gay issue, I lost it.

Why does this silly show do this to me? Maybe because this show is sorta all about the losers. The people who aren't accepted by their peers. I relate to these people on SO many levels. My high school days were spent more or less all by myself. I didn't have friends. I was an outcast. Obviously, things are different now, but every time I look back, I can't help but feel a part of the hurt I used to feel each and every single day. I used to cry myself to sleep nearly every single night. This is not an exaggeration. I was so alone.

I don't blame anyone. I used to blame everyone else. Then I blamed myself for a long time. But I have realized blaming is useless. It doesn't matter why it happened, but it happened. I owe a large part of who I am today to those lonely years. As horrible as they were at the time, I learned some valuable lessons and built a valuable aspect of my character. The entire situation made me more aware of people. I can't help but feel hurt when I see someone alone. I see people getting picked on and it hurts me on a personal level. I can put myself in that situation because I spent my ENTIRE childhood in those situations. Being alone all those years made me a much more understanding and compassionate person.

With that said, it kills me to watch it happen to others. There must be a better way to learn compassion then by being secluded, made fun of, picked on, and drowning in tears each night. I can't stand to watch people going through what I went through. No one deserves that. Everyone needs a friend. Everyone.

Happy Birthday Sesame Street

Sesame Street turned 40 years old today. So to celebrate, I collected some videos to remind us all of our younger days.







And my favorite: "This is kinda kinky, Earnie"

A Christmas Carol! Too soon?

This past weekend I went home to American Fork (for less then a day), but was able to see some of my family. Me, my parents, and Russell and Amber all went to see Disney's A Christmas Carol. It was actually an extremely well done movie. I recommend it. However, I am not quite sure if I am ready for the Christmas season yet. I loved the movie, but didn't really feel the Christmas spirit. Give me a few weeks. This is odd coming from the guy who used to start blasting his Christmas albums in early October! I don't know what's happened to me. I guess I am getting old. I blame everything on getting old now.

The rest of my weekend was awesome too. I had orientation at Best Buy on Friday. Looking forward to having a paying job again. I thought about it and I haven't received a paycheck since June. Since then, all of my jobs have been for free. It's no wonder I am out of money. Hopefully it all pays off in the long run.

Not much else new to report. I have noticed a lot of my friends in the last week have been having relationship problems. It must be the newest illness going around. Forget swine flu, the anti-love bug is in town. While I have no relationship to be crushed in the first place, it's been hard to watch good people split. It's sad.

But that's it for now. We are getting close to the end of the semester. I can't wait! One step closer to the end.

Over 6 hours in the UR Lab. . . losing my mind.

I haven't been very good at keeping up with this blog thing. I am working on an animation project on campus, and after 6 hours of sitting in front of this computer, I think it's tie to take a break. But first, I will update you all on my life really quickly.

I have been loving this semester of school. I have had so much more free time this year. I needed this relaxing semester after last year. I didn't sleep much at all last year, as many of you may remember. Working 2 jobs and 18 credits at school nearly killed me.

This year has been a huge contrast to that. I have cut back to just 12 credits and cut my jobs back to just one (Disney Campus Rep President). Sure, I am living on loan money, but it's been worth it. I normally wouldn't say that, but if I would have gone through another semester like last year, I don't think I would have physically been able to handle it.

So what am I doing? I have been working on my portfolio. I have been doing the Disney recruiting completely stress free this time. But, most importantly, I am having fun. I love my roommates this year. I am living in a house now. The 5 guys I live with are awesome. We have a ton of fun in our house. I honestly love it. It's possibly the best group of roommates I have ever had. And that's saying a lot, because I have had a couple pretty good groups.

My addiction to eating out (thanks Traverse City, MI) has forced me to get a job for the holidays. My loan money is almost gone. Whoops. So I start my job at Best Buy tomorrow. It's just seasonal for now and I don't think it will be bad at all. I look forward to a little spending money and hopefully some new friendships.

I just won a be with two of my roommates last night. We had almost gone 2 weeks without shaving. The first person to shave had to buy the others an item from the dollar menu at McDonalds. I totally won! And it felt sooooo good this morning to finally shave the scruff off. It was getting a little out of control.

It's getting cold. The last few days, the temperature has been up in the 4o's and it has felt like summer to me. That's how cold it has been! When the 40's feel warm, you have a problem. This will be my last winter in Logan though. I am thinking I might try snowboarding this year. I have never tried skiing or snowboarding and I might regret that in the future.

Speaking of cold, I am going to have to walk home in it now. Guess I better leave soon.

It was fun to update you all on my eventful life. I probably missed a lot because I am just rambling, but deal with it.

Until next time,

Adios.

Curtis