the losers.

I am currently sitting in my Computers and Art class. I am one of the teachers and am bored out of my mind. Today is a lab day, so my students just work on their assignments in the computer lab and I walk around and help them when they need it. In other words, I refresh my facebook page so many times it makes my fingers hurt. This leaves me valuable time to write in my ever-so-precious blog.

This morning I caught up on last night's Glee via Hulu. I never cease to be impressed by this show. It can be so outrageous and cheesy. So repetitive and karaoke. Yet, I can't get enough! I LOVE it. And I am not ashamed to admit this super cheesy comedy TV show has brought a tear to my eye FOUR times now. This new episode was about people with special needs or disabilities. To watch Sue go visit her sister with special needs and read to her just really got me. And then AGAIN when Kurt talks to his dad about the gay issue, I lost it.

Why does this silly show do this to me? Maybe because this show is sorta all about the losers. The people who aren't accepted by their peers. I relate to these people on SO many levels. My high school days were spent more or less all by myself. I didn't have friends. I was an outcast. Obviously, things are different now, but every time I look back, I can't help but feel a part of the hurt I used to feel each and every single day. I used to cry myself to sleep nearly every single night. This is not an exaggeration. I was so alone.

I don't blame anyone. I used to blame everyone else. Then I blamed myself for a long time. But I have realized blaming is useless. It doesn't matter why it happened, but it happened. I owe a large part of who I am today to those lonely years. As horrible as they were at the time, I learned some valuable lessons and built a valuable aspect of my character. The entire situation made me more aware of people. I can't help but feel hurt when I see someone alone. I see people getting picked on and it hurts me on a personal level. I can put myself in that situation because I spent my ENTIRE childhood in those situations. Being alone all those years made me a much more understanding and compassionate person.

With that said, it kills me to watch it happen to others. There must be a better way to learn compassion then by being secluded, made fun of, picked on, and drowning in tears each night. I can't stand to watch people going through what I went through. No one deserves that. Everyone needs a friend. Everyone.

Happy Birthday Sesame Street

Sesame Street turned 40 years old today. So to celebrate, I collected some videos to remind us all of our younger days.







And my favorite: "This is kinda kinky, Earnie"

A Christmas Carol! Too soon?

This past weekend I went home to American Fork (for less then a day), but was able to see some of my family. Me, my parents, and Russell and Amber all went to see Disney's A Christmas Carol. It was actually an extremely well done movie. I recommend it. However, I am not quite sure if I am ready for the Christmas season yet. I loved the movie, but didn't really feel the Christmas spirit. Give me a few weeks. This is odd coming from the guy who used to start blasting his Christmas albums in early October! I don't know what's happened to me. I guess I am getting old. I blame everything on getting old now.

The rest of my weekend was awesome too. I had orientation at Best Buy on Friday. Looking forward to having a paying job again. I thought about it and I haven't received a paycheck since June. Since then, all of my jobs have been for free. It's no wonder I am out of money. Hopefully it all pays off in the long run.

Not much else new to report. I have noticed a lot of my friends in the last week have been having relationship problems. It must be the newest illness going around. Forget swine flu, the anti-love bug is in town. While I have no relationship to be crushed in the first place, it's been hard to watch good people split. It's sad.

But that's it for now. We are getting close to the end of the semester. I can't wait! One step closer to the end.

Over 6 hours in the UR Lab. . . losing my mind.

I haven't been very good at keeping up with this blog thing. I am working on an animation project on campus, and after 6 hours of sitting in front of this computer, I think it's tie to take a break. But first, I will update you all on my life really quickly.

I have been loving this semester of school. I have had so much more free time this year. I needed this relaxing semester after last year. I didn't sleep much at all last year, as many of you may remember. Working 2 jobs and 18 credits at school nearly killed me.

This year has been a huge contrast to that. I have cut back to just 12 credits and cut my jobs back to just one (Disney Campus Rep President). Sure, I am living on loan money, but it's been worth it. I normally wouldn't say that, but if I would have gone through another semester like last year, I don't think I would have physically been able to handle it.

So what am I doing? I have been working on my portfolio. I have been doing the Disney recruiting completely stress free this time. But, most importantly, I am having fun. I love my roommates this year. I am living in a house now. The 5 guys I live with are awesome. We have a ton of fun in our house. I honestly love it. It's possibly the best group of roommates I have ever had. And that's saying a lot, because I have had a couple pretty good groups.

My addiction to eating out (thanks Traverse City, MI) has forced me to get a job for the holidays. My loan money is almost gone. Whoops. So I start my job at Best Buy tomorrow. It's just seasonal for now and I don't think it will be bad at all. I look forward to a little spending money and hopefully some new friendships.

I just won a be with two of my roommates last night. We had almost gone 2 weeks without shaving. The first person to shave had to buy the others an item from the dollar menu at McDonalds. I totally won! And it felt sooooo good this morning to finally shave the scruff off. It was getting a little out of control.

It's getting cold. The last few days, the temperature has been up in the 4o's and it has felt like summer to me. That's how cold it has been! When the 40's feel warm, you have a problem. This will be my last winter in Logan though. I am thinking I might try snowboarding this year. I have never tried skiing or snowboarding and I might regret that in the future.

Speaking of cold, I am going to have to walk home in it now. Guess I better leave soon.

It was fun to update you all on my eventful life. I probably missed a lot because I am just rambling, but deal with it.

Until next time,

Adios.

Curtis

Curtis and POD-E (2004-2009)

I just wrote a long entry about love and life, then selected it all and deleted it. Instead, I will go for a lighter subject today.

I walked to class in beautiful 80 degree weather this morning. There was a little breeze, but overall a very nice day. So naturally, I was wearing shorts and flip flops. My class was a little over 3 hours. In those 3 hours, the weather had decided to change it's mind. I walked home in rain and freezing wind. I was soaked by the time I arrived back home, but this did not ruin my mood.

Why, you ask?

Well, let me tell you what was waiting for me at home!

My brand new iPod Touch!

I have been determined for two years that my old iPod needed to be replaced. But, financially it was a stupid idea to replace a semi-working iPod at the time. I told myself I could last two years. In 2009, when Apple releases the new iPods, I will allow myself to buy one. So I waited.

The day the new iPods were released this year, I placed my order.

My old iPod and I had some great times together. I called my old iPod POD-E (poddie). He was very good to me. POD-E and I were brought together 5 years ago. Back then, I was one of the very few people to own an iPod. People were jealous of POD-E. I would ride the bus home from work at Animal Kingdom and everyone would want to borrow POD-E. Especially the Asians. I was the cool kid as long as POD-E was with me.

POD-E quickly became not-so-cool. Within a year, everyone seemed to have an iPod. And their iPods were in color and could play video! However, I was faithful to POD-E and his old-school back and white screen. I didn't need pictures or video. All I needed was the music. So POD-E was a little chunkier then all the new iPods in town, but it didn't matter. I loved him the same.

At about the 3 year mark, POD-E reached maximum capacity. 20 GB of music! But I didn't give up. We dealt through our struggle. Whenever new music was bought, some old stuff had to be taken off POD-E. It wasn't easy, but we managed. By year 4, POD-E was showing serious signs of aging. Powering off at random moments. Skipping songs for no reason. Scroll wheel locking. Menu button malfunctions. The list goes on. POD-E was finally getting old and I had to realize that. It has been a rough road for us. I can't say I have always been the most gentle friend to POD-E. It is a definite love-hate relationship. But we have been there.

POD-E has traveled with me across the country. He has been with me through the worst of times and the best of times. Despite all the issues, POD-E always was there to lift my spirits with some good music.

The time has simply come for us to end our nonstop love affair. I will always have a deep love for POD-E. I will still visit him from time to time. This isn't a final farewell, but it is the end of a chapter.

POD-E, I will never forget the moments we shared. Thank you for every step.

Growing Up? . . . Nope. Never.

It's Thursday! That means we have made it passed the half way mark! This week is actually going by pretty quickly. I can't wait for it to be over though. The National Cherry Festival is in town this week and I am tired of the groups of teenagers hanging out on every corner downtown. I will miss the corn dogs and elephant ears though.

There isn't much new to report. I am getting settled in here. I am staying at The Whiting. I definitely recommend it. Very classy! No shower, holes in the wall covered up by vents, smelly bed sheets, windows that wont close, TV cable that has to be adjusted every two minutes, midget sized bed, creaky floors, strange neighbors, and so much more!

Work is going well though. I am enjoying it a lot. I love that I actually have a job where I am designing, not dishing ice cream or selling glow toys. I have a desk in the corner with my computer all set up. It's very legit. I almost feel like an adult. (Just without the paycheck).

This has been a crazy summer. I have been all over the map, but I am LOVING every minute!

Summer of Travels!!!!

It's been a while, so I figured you guys deserve an update on what's going on in my life right now.

After living out of my car for a month in Logan, I quit Aggie Ice Cream (forever this time) and took a quick trip to California with some friends. We stopped in Vegas for a night. It was really fun. Disneyland was awesome! Of course. I hadn't been there in 3 years, so it was good to go back. Disney World is still bigger and better, but the original will always be Disneyland.

After that trip, I left Utah again and drove out to Florida. On the way, I was able to stop in Iowa and visit with my friend Michael. I spent a day in Louisville, KY with Mattie. It was so good to see old friends.

The best surprise of the summer was waiting for me when I arrived in Orlando. The Scottish Twins, Steph and Kimbers, were there!!!! They planned a vacation to Florida and kept it secret from me. It was SO good to see them. We had a lot of fun while they were in town. We went to Miami for a couple days. Drama pretty much sums up that trip, but it was still a good time.

I was in Florida for 3 weeks. It was good to go back to work at Fantasmic! No matter how much I complain about it, I do miss it some days. I made a lot of new friends in the short time I was in town. It was extremely hard to leave. Every time I go back to Disney, I am tempted to never leave. But no one can live in that bubble forever.

I left Florida last Thursday. I was on the road in Georgia when I got the news that Michael Jackson had died. I have never considered myself a huge fan of Michael, but it hit me harder then I thought. I grew up listening to his music. I realized how big of an impact he had in my life as I listened to countless radio stations play his music over and over. I remember being stuck in traffic in Atlanta. It was maybe an hour after he had been confirmed dead. Traffic wasn't moving. I was listening to a station that was playing Michael and talking about him. I rolled down my window and heard the same station being played from the car next to me. Then I looked behind me. The lady was lip-syncing to the same song. As I turned down my radio, I heard numerous cars on the freeway playing Man in the Mirror in unison. EVERYONE was listening to this station. It was a moment I wont forget. I watched everyone around me in their cars as they listened to a man who had influenced their lives in some way or another. It was pretty awesome.

Anyway, I continued on to Chicago. I stayed there for a day with my friend Alix. Fun times! haha. Then Alix and I drove up to Traverse City, Michigan. That's where I am now. I started my internship yesterday. Its going well so far. I feel very legit. I have my own desk in my own corner. It's great! And that's my summer so far.

Hope you are all doing well! Miss you all!

Curtis