A year ago, I was upset and disappointed with where my life seemed to be going. At every turn, it seemed I was met with failure. Instead of continuing to live like that, I knew some changes had to be made. If my life path wasn't working out, I needed to take control and find a new path. In 2012, that is exactly what I did. The past year has been full of huge risks, new places and people, trials and setbacks, joyous reunions, new discoveries, real perspective, and deep emotions I once considered my life devoid of.
I have been so fortunate this year to have visited so many friends, family, and places from my past. I have driven across the U.S. 3 times this year. On those trips, I was able to meet up with some old familiar faces and places I hold dear. In August, I was reunited with many dear friends in Traverse City, MI for the wedding of Max and Susan. Earlier this year, I was able to spend a couple of days with some old friends in Utah, including my first visit to the USU campus in Logan since graduating over 2 years ago. I made a large effort to spend some quality one-on-one time with many friends in Orlando during my final few months there at the beginning of the year. I have seen my family more this year than the last few years combined. During this year of creating a new life, these moments with all of you have given me reminders of where I came from and why I am who I am today. I wouldn't be the Curtis who took these risks this year without all of these people and places who molded me into a strong person.
Over the last few years, I have built a fairly strong understanding of who I am and what my foundation is. When I went to Africa, I didn't go expecting to "find myself." I know myself. No, this trip wasn't about that. For too long, I had been stressing over my life and my future. Being in Kenya for two months allowed me to stop that. While I didn't discover a new Curtis while in Africa, I did discover a new life perspective. My world is no longer the same world it was a year ago. The experiences I had in Kenya will be a part of who I am forever. Not a day goes by that I am not grateful for what I have in my life. In Kenya, I learned what selfless love is. I cared for those children I taught more than anything else in the world. I grew to learn each of them and their unique personalities. Every day I continue to think about them. I wonder how they are. I wonder what they are learning. I wonder if they are still in school. I am scared for them. They are forced to be so strong at such a young age. I live in a new world. A world where poverty and death is real. It's not just a news report. These are people I love and care for. They are barely hanging on to hope each day and they literally struggle to survive. It's a heavy load that will weigh on my mind for the rest of my life.
I arrived in California in August with $30 to my name. I was starting completely from scratch. This is an experience I haven't had to deal with in quite some time. The hours at Disneyland were limited at first. My first month or two here landed me in the most terrifying financial situation I have ever faced. But deep down, I knew it had to work out. I would make sure of it. Working at Disneyland, I couldn't help but compare everything to all the years I spent at Disney World. Ultimately, while I enjoyed working there, it never quite captured the magic I once felt at Disney. My heart was ready to move on. I had accomplished my childhood dream, and it was time for my heart to let go and prepare for new dreams. 8 years after first being accepted into the Disney College Program, I left Disney in October. I had worked every Disney Theme Park and Water Park in America. The experiences and friendships I had over those years are countless and will stay with me forever. It was a tearful and bittersweet goodbye, but I left fully satisfied with everything I had accomplished with the Disney Company.
My year has been capped off with what might be the greatest thing to ever happen to my life. Being in love is an entirely new experience for me. Many have debated on the various reasons and theories for why I have never let anyone into my life. I don't really have all those answers, but I do know that I have found someone who makes me more happy than I have EVER been in my life. I can no longer imagine my life without him. I am now facing a new future that I hadn't considered myself worthy of in the past. My priorities and what I wanted for my future a year ago have changed. That empty feeling that I had learned to bury deep deep down is no longer empty. It's no longer selfish desires and commitments that get me through each day. It's someone I love with all my heart that inspires me to wake up and live each day with purpose.
2012 brought a lot of change for me. I cant help but feel years like this are behind me. I believe I am the closest to true satisfaction and happiness than I have ever been before. I no longer need to go searching for the next thing that will bring me happiness. Those adventures in search of happiness were amazing and necessary, but I have reached a new phase. I found happiness. Now it's time to see where that takes me.
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