A Reason.

I was recently giving a new friend the retelling of my short-lived homeless days. I was explaining how while I was living out of my car, I began a strange new habit. I began leaving a minimum of 50% gratuity when eating out (which was rare while homeless, but the habit continued after I found a place to live). Why, when I couldn't even afford a roof over my head, would I be giving the little money I had away so irresponsibly? Because in my time of need, people stepped in and helped me. Offering me food, couches to sleep on, showers to use, and so much more. I had never experienced so much selfless giving. So I felt it my responsibility to pay it forward. In our darkest moments, we sometimes learn our most valuable lessons.

The last few months have been hard on me. My closest friends and family all already know this. Good fortune has not really been on my side and all aspects of my life have been struggling. Defeat from the world has left me crushed and searching for what I want out of life. It has lead me down a road of internal conversation that I would not have taken if I had been blessed with success the last several months.

I know there was a reason for this. First of all, I have come out of the darkness still standing. Bruised and hurt? Yes. But I am still standing tall. But more importantly, I have learned more about what it is to live. I have a better understanding of how to take control of my life and my attitude even in the most depressing of circumstances. I haven't stopped fighting for even a day and while it seemed this fight was a waste, it was truly a victory for me as a person.

I have not made it completely out of the trenches yet, but in the last 3 or 4 weeks, my entire situation has turned around. When all hope was lost, a multitude of miracles lined up quickly in a row. Call it fate. Call it God. Call it luck. 4 weeks ago I was lonely, financially ruined, spiritually struggling, and creatively dead. Today I can give an opposite description of my life. And I am more happy than I have been in several months.

There is always a reason for our struggles.