2010: The journey into adulthood.

As I reflect on the past year of my life and try to come up with something to say, I am too overwhelmed. There is just too much to say. So I have decided the best way to share the experiences of my 2010 with all of you is to share with you some things I have already written.

The following are passages from my personal journal. Yes, I have a personal journal. If you thought I share too much information online, then just imagine the things I write in this journal! I always wonder who will end up with my journals when I die. Because that person is in no way prepared for the secrets these books contain. Really though, no one is prepared.

The real Curtis is found in these writings. People would be shocked to know him. With that said, I will only share with you limited selections from the past 12 months of my writings. And I will keep the really juicy stuff out. Sorry kids. You're gonna have to wait for me to die to get those stories.

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January 1, 2010
"2010 is going to bring some major changes to my life. I graduate and enter the real world soon. It's frightening to me, but I know I can handle it. I vow to make 2010 another year of personal growth and of happiness."

January 22, 2010
"The reality is that I graduate in less then four months and I am not ready for the real world. The future is frightening. What will happen if my dreams don't come true? I am such a believer in dreams that I rarely stop to contemplate a scenario where they don't come true. Today I stopped to contemplate such a scenario. I didn't like it. What is the point of living if dreams don't come true?"

"10 days ago, the country of Haiti was hit with a disastrous earthquake. The death toll is estimated between 50,000 and over 200,000. The images of the aftermath are honestly the most disturbing images I have ever seen. They are filling DUMPSTERS with dead bodies! I cry every time I watch anything about it. No one else around me seems to even care. It's so far away, I guess people have a hard time feeling it's real . . . I can't even stress to you how much it hurts me. . . I feel helpless. Donating money is all I can do, but I want a future that will allow me to do more. So many people in this world need help. I want to help them. I need to help them. . . As ridiculous as it sounds, I do believe I can change the world. My biggest fear is that I wont."

February 13, 2010
". . . with each passing year it gets more and more difficult to watch everyone find love except me. The older I get, the more I wonder if I will EVER find someone. . . And people can tell me it will happen in time, but that's bull shit."

February 27, 2010
"I skipped all my classes except one this week. Senioritis has kicked in at an all time high now."

March 7, 2010
"On Friday, I was a part of the Disney Street Team in Salt Lake City on the Give A Day, Get A Day National Tour. . . It reminded me once again why I want to work for Disney. It makes me unbelievably happy. And i am getting a little sick of the jokes about it. Yes! I want to work for them! Shut the hell up and deal with it! There is absolutely nothing wrong with me or my dreams. I am a good sport and laugh at myself, but even I have a breaking point."

March 10, 2010
"I felt like the interview went well. I did my best and the rest is out of my hands."

April 12, 2010
"Dreams come true. I live by that motto. Maybe I believe it a little too much. . . there I found a rejection letter from Walt Disney World casting. . . My spirits have been crushed. i have so many different emotions ranging from anger to sorrow to confusion. . . My life will have been for nothing if I give up [on my dream] now. Regardless, today was a huge set back. . . I think everyone needs a good, hard failure in the pathway to their dream. It puts things in perspective. It is now my responsibility to learn from this and come out fighting even harder."

April 15, 2010
"Sometimes I wonder what the hell I am doing."

April 20, 2010

"I have found a backup dream about to come true! I have been accepted into Disney Entertainment as a Character Performer! I start June 7th and listed as a face character. This really is the best scenario possible for a backup plan.

April 22, 2010
"I was woken up by a phone call from Disney Distribution Marketing asking me to interview for their Graphic Design Internship. Just two hours later they called me for the interview. It went well and I am optimistic, but not getting my hopes too high. I don't want to be crushed again. And I am honestly completely satisfied with doing 6 months in Entertainment. It's a job I never thought I would be qualified for. I am still in shock I got it. My life is blessed. It seems, in time, all of my dreams will come true.

April 25, 2010
"Right now I could be very upset with the way things are going in my life. I choose instead to react positively. When I am positive and when I refuse to give up, I always end up rewarded."

May 6, 2010
"This is it. It has finally come. In less then two days I will officially be a college graduate. I always get a little emotional when it is time for a major change in my life. I am going to miss Utah State University and Logan. It's been an unexpected adventure. The last four years have been the greatest four years of my life. I wouldn't trade a single moment. On Wednesday night, I took one last walk through the Art Building on campus. I was overwhelming as I walked through old rooms while memories flooded my mind. I reflected on the journey I have taken over the last four years. My very first class was a drawing class. I was so afraid to get back into art. I remember going to that first day of class terrified of what was to come. I have discovered myself through rediscovering my passions in that very building. I stepped into the main graphic design classroom alone and looked around for a couple minutes. Words can't describe how special that room is to me. It's going to be hard to leave the friends and teachers from this program. I shed a small tear as I turned off the lights and left the graphic design studio for the last time ever. And now as I say goodbye to a chapter of life, I prepare to say hello to a new chapter. Last Friday, I was offered a graphic design internship with Disney. . . I am excited and sad to leave my college years behind, but I take comfort in knowing I have no regrets. Not a single one. I will always look back on these years and smile knowing I accomplished EVERY SINGLE goal I had. That is a huge blessing and accomplishment."

May 8, 2010
"Graduating college is by far the greatest accomplishment of my life up to this point. I can't even explain how much of myself I have put into this. It's been an incredible journey. I have discovered myself. I am scared for the future. Nothing is ever going to be the same. I don't know if I am ready, but I am prepared. The last several years have taught me to ask questions and search for the answers. I will continue to learn and grow. This is a bittersweet ending to this chapter of my life."

May 31, 2010
"All my siblings and their kids cam over [for the BBQ]. We had a lot of fun just being together. I am going to miss my family. The older we get, the more I think we are realizing how much we love and need each other. Today was fantastic. I treasure my time with them. After this week, it may be a very long time before I am with all of them together like this. it's one of the sacrifices of growing up I guess."

June 7, 2010
"But before I left, I took one last walk through the house. And as the time to leave approached, I was overwhelmed with emotion. I could barely breath. Very rarely in my life have I had moments where I couldn't control my tears in public. I don't get emotional in front of my family. I tried so hard to keep the tears in. Finally as I stood in the kitchen looking our the window (to hide my face), the tears began flowing down my cheeks. I walked into the living room. There was no way for me to hide my tears at that point. My dad asked me if I was scared. 'No,' I replied. 'I'm leaving. This is where I grew up. I'm really leaving this time.' . . ."

June 26, 2010
"Yesterday, I completed my first full week of work at my new job. So far I love it."

August 28, 2010
"What else? . . . Still searching for my Prince Charming..."

September 27, 2010
"There are things that could be better, but at the end of the day I can leave satisfied with what I've done."

September 29, 2010
" I leave on the cruise tomorrow! I am so excited. And after this crazy busy week, the timing couldn't be more perfect. I am ready for a nice short vacation."

October 23, 2010
"As much as I want to get my hopes up, I know that to protect myself, I can't."

October 14, 2010
"Dear Curtis,
You are a worthless piece of s#*t. You live in a world of dreams to avoid your pathetic reality. . . You are an afterthought with the few friends you have.  And this is all your own doing. You are so damn quiet and weak. You will forever let people walk all over you because you have no strength. . . You have half-assed your way through your entire life. Stop playing the victim. It's obvious why you have been and always will be alone. . . When your life is over, nothing will change. The world will remain unaffected. You might as well have never existed. You disgust me and I hate you.
Sincerely,
yourself."

October 29, 2010
"There are moments in our lives when events force us to re-evaluate our situation and make a change. I can't claim that anything life-changing or threatening has happened to me the last two weeks. However, a series of small experiences and situations have caused me to do a lot of reflecting. Some has been negative, some positive. I have been pretty rough on myself. In reality, is everything bad in my life my fault? Probably not. Yet, I personally believe that this sudden urge of self-hatred has been oddly healthy for me. . . Perspective in life is key, but right now in my life I needed this negative self evaluation to give me a push I needed. Things don't go my way. That's life. But the Curtis that woke up today was ready to take a little more control. No more hiding in the back seat. I deserve a front seat and quite frankly should have been given a drivers seat by now. But life isn't fair. So I am now realizing I am going to have to fight for even a small taste of fairness. It's true that nice guys don't finish first. you have to be at least a little bit of a selfish bitch to get anything in life. SO the time has come for me to insert a little bit of selfish bitchiness into my life. I am done with always losing in my career, my love life, and my family. I deserve more then that and the only way to get what I deserve is to take it on my own. I will continue to treat people with kindness, but no longer do I believe in receiving that kindness back from the world. Just being a good person doesn't cut it anymore. I am going to start demanding attention from this world."

November 14, 2010
"Boys are stupid."

November 24, 2010
"My new attitude . . . really is changing the way the world treats me. There is no reason why I shouldn't be an active participant in life."

December 28, 2010
"And now, as with most mistakes in life, it's too late to fix it."

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And so here we are. The year is ending. It's been an incredible journey. I dare say it has been one of the top years of my life. Possibly THE top year of my life. I can't really complain about anything.

Thank you all for continuing to be a part of my life. Live each day in the coming year as if it is a gift, because it is.

Happy New Year everyone.

He had changed. I had changed.

I have tried writing my thoughts over and over again. Each time I delete them. I just don't really know what I want to say. The thoughts of Micah's death are still haunting me.

He is gone.

I keep thinking back to our childhood. I used to know him. Why and when did that stop? Why did we go our separate ways? I don't have the answers. I don't remember. I just feel like I missed out on continuing a relationship with someone just because the world told me we were on separate paths.

Screw the world.

Micah was a good person. We were different people, but that should have never kept us apart. I remember the last time I saw Micah. It was at church. I believe it was the summer of 2007. I hadn't seen him in a few years, probably since high school. Through our teenage years, we didn't really talk. We knew of each other because of our past, but we had somehow become just acquaintances by the time we graduated. But the last time I saw him, things were different.

He had changed. I had changed.

We had a small chat that day. I wish I could remember what we talked about. I don't. I very much remember that being the highlight of my day though. On that day, he showed me genuine kindness and interest. Up to that point, I had been somewhat bitter toward my teenage years. People didn't talk to me and I had few friends. I didn't have high opinions of most people I grew up with.

Talking to Micah that day changed my mind. I grew up surrounded by good people. Kids are kids. We could go off for hours about why no one befriended me or why I didn't break out and befriend others. The finger pointing could go back and forth all day. The fact is we were all decent kids.

As adults, we could now look past our differences and talk to each other. He was such a nice person. He was so friendly. It was that moment that I saw a touch of our childhood days return. Back when we didn't care what the world or other friends thought. We were all just kids playing.

The differences never matter when you are a kid.

And on that last day I saw Micah, the differences didn't matter to him. He took the initiative and spoke to me. Something I never would have done. He was the better man. I admired that. I regret not reaching out after that day.

I went home and never saw him again.

But that meeting stayed with me. I always noticed Micah had a love of life. He was passionate about everything he did. I noticed this even when we were no longer friends and just kids that went to school together. I was a people watcher in High School. I remember watching Micah. He was one of those kids I wanted to be like. Someone who you knew had a lot of friends because he was a good friend in return. He was such a positive person.

It's a shame it took death to make me reflect on these things. I can't go back in time as much as I wish I could.

Oh how I wish I could right now.

But I have learned valuable lessons. The last few days, I have reflected on my own life. I want to be remembered in a positive light just as Micah has been. There are things I am already committed to changing. I like to believe I have grown into the person I always dreamed of being. And for the most part that is true, but along the way I have picked up a few characteristics I never wanted. It's time to make a serious change for the better.

I need to be a better person.

I have higher standards then what I have been living. This is not all talk. I have realized with the death of Micah just how short life really can be. We all hear that. But when someone your age that you grew up with dies out of nowhere, and so young, you really understand how fragile life is. It could have easily been me. I could die tomorrow. It is a real possibility. It's not good to live in fear of dying each day, but living a good life so that you are prepared to die at any time is the way I need to start living.

Living for a zest for life, just as Micah did.

Micah

Every day people die.

We rarely feel any emotion when we see these stories on the news. Then someone you know becomes one of these news stories. Suddenly it is near impossible to avoid the overwhelming emotion.

So why don't we feel sorrow when a stranger dies? A connection is missing. There is no way to change it. No matter how hard I try to feel connected to a strangers death, the emotion is never quite the same. Why? Why did I cry today over the news of the death of an old acquaintance? We were never close friends. I hadn't even seen him in over 3 years. We went to each others birthday parties as kids. Went to the same church on Sunday's. We were in cub scouts together. We graduated from the same high school together. We had many classes together over the years. But aside from our childhood connections, we weren't ever close.

So why do I cry tonight? Because he was too young? Because of the tragic circumstances of how he died? Because I think of his family mourning? Because life is precious and taken for granted? All of those things are true. But those are things that go through my head when a stranger dies as well.

And yet this seems more painful. These tears are more real. There is a connection that words cannot express.

Life is full of meetings and farewells. We meet thousands of people in a lifetime. Most don't become close friends. Some we know our entire lives and never really know them. But there is somehow a connection made with each person our life crosses paths with. A connection that can't be explained.

I believe each person we meet along the way has a greater impact on our lives then we can ever know. Cherish each person you meet. In some way or another they are a part of your life. And their impact is unexplainably huge. Each of them.

There is a reason I am emotionally hurt over the news of Micah Huggard's death. He touched my life. He taught me valuable lessons that I have reflected on today and more that I am sure I don't even realize. I was blessed to have crossed paths with him in this life. Just as I am blessed with every person who enters my life.

You will be missed Micah. Thank you for your life.

The rents are in town.

My parents are visiting this weekend. They will be here in a couple of hours. So it's to the theme parks I go the next two days. I guess that's a good thing. I haven't done the theme park scene in a few months. It'll be nice to be back out there as a guest again. And it's going to be good to see my parents. I haven't seen anyone in my family since I left Utah 6 months ago. Wow! Has it really been 6 months?! Time is just flying by.

The eggs in my forehead.

I woke up today and looked in the mirror only to find something absolutely horrifying.

I have to report that I have been attacked by some sort of monster bug. I don't know when it came or what it looked like, but at some point through the night, it got me. My forehead has grown a large red lump with several little holes/bitemarks. It's freakishly large and a little frightening. The worst part is imagining whatever thing did this to me crawling all over my face while I sleep. GROSS. 

I wonder if the monster laid eggs in my forehead. Maybe I will be giving birth to little monsters soon. I am getting the heeby jeebies just thinking of what this thing did to me.... blehhhh.

Unemotional

Ever have those moments of unemotion? Those moments when so much should be running through your veins, yet you feel absolutely nothing.

Tonight I feel unemotion.

Perhaps I have tired my mind and body of emotion the last few weeks.

I don't think I like being unemotional, but I can't tell because I have no emotion. Chances are I will have too much emotion to even handle tomorrow. For now, I remain unemotional.

Making Thanksgiving Pie.

So the end result didn't actually end up working. But it was a good experiment. And nothing started on fire so I put it down in my book as a success.

Thanksgiving.

Thanks to friends, family, and God.

I love you all.

It's that simple.

Tangled

Last night (er.. this morning) I went the the midnight showing of Disney's 50th Animated Feature Film, Tangled. If you know me, you know I am a Disney animation nut! I eat this stuff up like candy. The movie was absolutely incredible! Visually stunning and excellent story combined with fantastic music make this film an instant Disney classic. I really hope this movie does well at the box office. Disney Animation desperately needs a big hit right now. And I truly believe they are back to making good, solid, timeless films again. I just wish people would go see them. So your duty is to go see this movie! I will forgive all of you who didn't give Princess and the Frog a chance (you are dumb, but forgiven), but you need to support good film and Tangled is a fantastic movie. Anyway, that's my little rant about that. Go see this movie!

MISSING: Cinderella

Please come back with my glass slipper. I don't want to give away a new one. Not this time.

The night before the beginning.

The worst part about Sunday nights?

Knowing the train called Monday is undoubtedly going to strike me unprepared in the morning.

What's in a name?

Curtis

Curly

Lance

Grundle Bear

Fatty

Curtie

Collin

Chris

the Mormon

Curt

Homo

Brad

Cutie

Loser

Charles

Clinton

Best Friend

Sexy

Curtalingous

Sitruc

Curt-i

Chuck

Fag

Tiger Lily

Charlie

Disney

Chewbacca

Curtle

Terrified.

Why is it that we spend our entire life building a world we wished we lived in and then when even just the slightest piece of that world starts becoming reality, we get scared and run from it? We are actually terrified of the worlds that we dream of. I wish I knew why.

So this is the night.

Tonight I am craving a night out under the stars. Oh how I miss camping in the summer time back home. Palm trees and beaches just aren't the same thing.

What's Wrong?

So I am usually pretty good at hiding my emotions. I have perfected the art actually. But for some reason, yesterday I just wasn't doing it well. Multiple people at work and when I got home pointed out that I was acting different.

The truth is I just wasn't feelin it yesterday. I was depressed for a number of reasons (mostly one) but I just wasn't in the mood for being the happy and fun Curtis I apparently normally am. There were no laffy taffy jokes in the office. No marshmallows being thrown over the cubical walls. Not nearly enough giggling. It was an off day.

But the fact that people noticed really threw me for a loop. It showed to me how much me being Curtis actually affects people's day. When I am not my happy self, people miss it. People like Curtis. I contribute to this world. I make a difference just by being myself. And THAT is how I quickly made it through this depression.

One or two people may not see how special I am, but screw them! I am a good person and there are people in this world who depend on me to show up and be the amazing person I am. If you can't see that, then it's your loss. Because quite frankly, the world would suck without me.

This ocean is big and you can go swim somewhere else, cause the rest of these fish love me. :)

Missing 18-24

I hate that I am now lumped into the 25-30something age group when taking surveys. Rub it in cruel world. Just rub it in.

Love?

For the first time in my life, I am contemplating and seriously considering the idea that love literally does not exist.

New goals.

Fun Game: Count the Um's.

Celebrate 5 Years of Making the Magic!

The day was February 1, 2005. I had moved into my new apartment less then 24 hours earlier. This was my first time living away from home. I wasn't necessarily scared, but I had no idea what the road ahead would bring. I had been anticipating this for months. I knew awesome adventures lay ahead, but didn't know exactly what those adventures would be or how they would come to pass. I had dreamed about this since I was little. I don't even remember a day when I didn't desire to work for Disney. It had always been my dream. And that dream was about to come true.

I sat for hours and signed stacks of papers. On that day, I was overwhelmed with my new world. I was now an official Disney cast member. I remember first receiving my name tag in Traditions (orientation). There it was. Walt Disney World Resort. Curtis. Utah Valley State College. Words can't describe what a privilege it was to put that name tag on. The next 7 months would take me on a journey I could have never expected or dreamed of.

To say every moment was perfect would be a total lie. I worked at Tusker House Restaurant at Disney's Animal Kingdom Theme Park. I loved the friends I made there. They would become the best friends I had ever had in my life up to that point. Without those relationships, I don't know if I would have survived my first Disney College Program. It was hard at times. In May, a lot of friends left for home, while a few of us were scheduled to stay for 3 more months. It was hard to watch everyone get ready to go home. I wanted to go home. I was jealous. I didn't see the big picture. Because looking back, by May my journey was just beginning.

The summer was hot and I worked an average of 60 hours a week. I had proven myself to my managers and coworkers. I was made a trainer and essentially was put in charge of my own little cart. I was trusted. It was nice, but the work was tiring and could get monotonous. I remember a day in July when things were really rough. I felt like I was working extremely hard for little recognition. I was ready to quit. I didn't know why I was there anymore. I had made up my mind that I would finish my program and never return to work for this company again. On this particular day, I was working at the fruit market. I was technically the stocker, but would help out whenever I could or didn't have anything to stock. I was making frozen lemonades for guests. Now, when I make a frozen lemonade, I don't just make a frozen lemonade. A frozen lemonade from Curtis always came shaped with a hidden mickey (a trick that many have tried and all have failed).

I had overheard that it was someone in the long lines birthday. So I made her the best frozen lemonade mickey I could. By the time it was ready, she had left. So I gave the treat to her husband free of charge and told him to tell his wife I wished her a happy birthday. The man was shocked that I knew it was her birthday and thanked me. I thought nothing of it. A couple of hours later, a woman came up to me to thank me for her birthday present. I was a little confused at first because I had forgotten about earlier. She said I made her entire day with that surprise frozen lemonade. In that moment I realized why I was working at Disney.

These moments happened on a daily basis, but I had been ignoring them. I had become so used to the routine that I forgot what was actually happening at Disney World. As a cast member, I was making magic and adding that little extra touch. I could make a guests entire vacation worth it. Making other people happy was what this job was all about! My attitude completely changed after that day. I was back to the super cheesy and happy Curtis I had been when I started in February. I finished my College Program on August 19, 2005. I cried when I realized I was leaving this dream.

I knew adjusting to normal life would be hard. I underestimated HOW hard it would be. I came home and returned to school within just a couple of days. The adjustment was horrible. Everyday was a struggle. It was like taking an addict off of his drugs. I couldn't handle it. Within just a month or two, I was already planning a reunion trip back to Disney World.

I survived the year and went back for a three week reunion in May of 2006. Me and a couple of friends had remained cast members with a seasonal status. So we returned to Tusker House once more. This little dose of Disney was just what I needed in my life at that time. I was reminded of how much I loved working there and this is when I officially decided I would work for Disney forever, even if it was just as seasonal for two weeks a year.

I came back home again, transferred schools, moved out, and changed my major (a decision I had made during and because of my 2005 experience at Disney). In the spring of 2007, I learned that I would not be able to take the classes I needed in the fall. It's a long complicated explanation, but basically, classes were not going to be offered that I needed to move along in my major. So I was forced to take a semester off. I could have stayed in Utah with a job that would have payed me a lot. I chose to follow my emotions and return to Disney instead.

My second College Program began on August 22, 2007. I arrived a few days early to make one last visit to the place that started it all. Tusker House Restaurant was closing to be renovated into a sit down restaurant. I had made a ton of memories at that place. It was sad to me that it was closing. It was like splitting up a family. Because at Tuskers, we were a family. Everyone there was transferred to different areas throughout the Disney World Resort. Me and my friend went to eat one last Chicken Sandwich on the last day Tusker House was open. It was August 19, 2007. Exactly two years to the day my first College Program had ended.

The next week I was reporting to my new role in Custodial at Animal Kingdom. To be honest, I was not happy that I had been given the custodial position. I felt that as an alumni, I should have been given a more desired position. Who wanted to be custodial? Wasn't that even WORSE then food service? I spent my first two weeks trying desperately to get transferred. Eventually I had to realize it wasn't going to happen. It was fate that I was to have this role.

Once I accepted that, things improved. I had been miserable and quite frankly embarrassed in the custodial position those first two weeks. I was stuck though and didn't want the entire experience to be ruined. I had four more months of this and there was no point in not enjoying my job. I began looking for ways to make my day at work enjoyable. It was a lot easier then I thought it would be.

To this day, I still tell people that working as a custodial cast member at Disney is the best job I have EVER had. My job was essentially guest interaction. I had the freedom to roam my area and talk to guest from around the world.

I was a part of so many memorable magical experiences during these 4 months. I am not ashamed to admit that I was touched to the point of tears MULTIPLE times at that job. I learned to love people. All people. Everyone has a story. Everyone. And I LOVED hearing all of those stories.

Along with the work aspect of that fall, the social aspect also impacted my life in ways I still can't even fully describe. I went into my second college program thinking I had a pretty good idea of how everything would go. I had done this before. I knew what it was all about. I expected to enjoy it, but my first program had changed my life. There was no way that could happen again. Well it did. I met so many amazing friends in the fall of 2007. I made lifelong friendships. I was able to open up to people in a way I never had before in my life. The real Curtis came out 100%. It was invigorating. I was now the person I had always been too afraid to be before.

People often ask me if I liked one college program more then the other. My answer is no. I can't even compare them. Each of them impacted my life equally, but in different ways. They were two completely different experiences. And I wouldn't trade either of them for the world. The three day drive home in January of 2008 was full of emotion. I had never been that sad to leave friends in my life. The first day, I cried the entire drive nonstop. The only other day in my life I have cried that much was when my grandma died. It was deeply sad to leave my friends.

I had decided during those few months in Disney I would have a career there. Being seasonal forever was fine, but not good enough. I was given the amazing opportunity to meet with Disney Graphic Designers on multiple occasions during my college program. Each of them LOVED their job. I wanted to be them. I was more determined then ever to make it happen. So while it was hard to leave, I knew this was not the end of my Disney journey. In fact it was just a few months later that I returned to Disney.

I was to spend my summer of 2008 working seasonal in custodial at Animal Kingdom. However, just days before arriving in Orlando, I learned that there had been a computer error and I had been deleted from the Disney system. I was no longer in their system as a Disney cast member. I was not happy. I spent my 23rd birthday at the Disney Casting building getting my job back. It took 8 hours, but I was again a Disney cast member on May 9, 2008. I was a little disappointed to find that I wouldn't be able to get my custodial position back due to other various issues in the system. I was however able to chose my new role from dozens of choices available. The guy who "interviewed" me was AWESOME. I owe him.

I began my new role in Merchandise at Hollywood Hills in Disney's Hollywood Studios the next week. The summer of 2008 was full of lots of ups and downs (mostly downs), but I LOVED my job again. I was given the opportunity to work as a vendor at the firework/stage show, Fantasmic. I also worked at the gift shops in Rock'n Roller Coaster and Tower of Terror. But, by far, my favorite was working at Fantasmic. I was also able to pick up dozens of shifts at other areas around Disney that summer. Including a few shifts in custodial at Animal Kingdom.

I learned that summer, that happiness is all about my own attitude. Things weren't going well at all. It was halfway through the summer that I accepted my mistakes and the fact that I couldn't change them. I was in Florida and there was no getting out of it. I had made that choice and good or bad, I had to accept the consequences. Once again, I changed my outlook and just began enjoying the little moments. There is no point in focusing on the stresses and negative aspects of life. They are going to happen and having a bad attitude will just make them even worse to get through. I left that summer with even more lifelong friends and an even better understanding of the person I am.

When I came back to school that fall, I was finally made a campus rep at Utah State University. Along with school and my job, I was now also recruiting for the Disney College Program. Managing my time was difficult. Especially when the next semester I was made President of our Campus Rep Team. As crazy as life was, I enjoyed getting to tell other students about my experiences at Disney. Nothing makes me more happy then talking about all the great times I had there.

I returned to Disney to work seasonal again in the summer of 2009. I was there for about 3 weeks this time and then I had to leave for a internship I had in Michigan. While my time was short there, I got to see a lot of old friends and even managed to make a few new ones!

I returned to school and have continued my position as President of USU's Campus Rep Team. We have a ton of fun doing this. I never thought I would be a good leader. I have never been leader material. This job has surprised me beyond imagination. The things I have managed to do are unbelievable to me. How the heck am I leading one of the best and most successful Disney CP recruiting teams in the nation?! I didn't think I could do it and was overwhelmed at first. But I have a great team, and we have managed to do some amazing work. I can honestly say I am proud of myself and each of them for what we have accomplished in the last couple of years. I am going to be sad when it's all over.

Next week I apply for a few Professional Internships with Disney. If I get one, I will be doing Graphic Design at Disney. That is my ultimate dream right now and literally everything I have done in the last two years has been with this goal in mind. I am determined to spend many more years with this company.

The past 5 years have been fantastic, but they are only the prelude to my grand adventure with Disney. The concept of making magic is something I have learned to apply to every aspect of my life. Whether it's at Disney or school or home or my other jobs, I have learned that making magic is the easiest way to make myself happy. The chance to make someone else's day special is why I wake up each morning.

If you were too overwhelmed to read all of that, just watch these videos and you will get the general point. haha.